My BS NFL Predictions -- 1/2way Thru

Well, New Jersey governor-elect Chris Cristie's campaign has ignited an entire and utterly complete political wave of "accountability" and "personal responsibility" never before felt in our elected officials!

With Rep. Mike Ross no longer taking personal money from the drug companies and voting for the public option and Rep. Barney Frank eschewing all that big, beautiful banking money and cracking down on our nation's financially- and morally-bankrupt financial institutions, I have caught the fever as well!

So, in my first act of personal accountability, I have to decided to hold myself ... well, I guess, accountable for the BS NFL predictions I made at the beginning of the season.

Let's see how I've done so far.

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: No matter how whack these predictions turn out to be, they can't be any worse than my 2-7 fantasy football season. So please keep in mind that I, like my fellow NFL owner-aspirant, Rush Limbaugh, am simply talking out of my ass.]


NFC East
MY PREDICTION

1. Philadelphia Eagles
2. New York Giants
3. Dallas Cowboys
4. Washington Redskins


REALITY

1. Dallas Cowboys (6-2)
2. Philadelphia Eagles (5-3)
3. New York Giants (5-4)
4. Washington Redskins (2-6)

I originally predicted that the Eagles were the team to beat here. I still hold that to be true. You just have no clue what Eagles are gonna show up. One week, they dismantle the Giants like they were the Oakland Raiders, or something. But a couple weeks before, they actually lost to the Oakland Raiders.

The Giants are even more schizoid than that. They start off the season going 5-0 and then have dropped the next four straight. But when you have Nazi leadership (aka Tom Coughlin), you've gotta expect your boys to be streaky. You blitz through Poland and storm through the USSR and then find yourself stalled at Leningrad's city gates. No, I don't expect a million people to die as a result of the Giants' season. What I figure is, they'll get their act together this week and streak all the way to the playoffs and possibly the Super Bowl.

Hey, did you know there was a Finnish rock band called the Leningrad Cowboys? According to Wikipedia, they are known for their "humorous songs, ludicrous hairstyles and concerts featuring the Russian military band Alexandrov ensemble."





Those hairstyles are ludicrous!

And so is the Cowboys' success (SEGUE!!!). Their schedule hasn't been too heavy, but I'm still a little surprised. The only consolation is that a Tony Romo-led team couldn't possibly win a Super Bowl.

And a Daniel Snyder-owned football team apparently cannot even win a single game. Until the day that the Nashville Niggers take the field against the Kansas City Kikes, I will forever hate Washington's football team's name (no, I guess then I'd hate three horribly-named teams instead of just one). And as long as that little Napoleon continues to own the Foreskins, I will forever wish them ill. However, I have to thank them for giving me the football highlight of the year: their giving the Detroit Lions their first win in twenty friggin' games! That was just beautiful.




NFC South

MY PREDICTION

1. Carolina Panthers
2. Atlanta Falcons
3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
4. New Orleans Saints

REALITY

1. New Orleans Saints (8-0)
2. Atlanta Falcons (5-3)
3. Carolina Panthers (3-5)
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-7)

Please don't let it ever be said that Bill Campbell can't smoke himself up some crack now. Little did we know, he was apparently on a five-week bender when he made the abovementioned prediction.

I originally thought this division was a toss-up. We all know Carolina's about as inconsistent as they come. And they still are (I mean, who loses to Buffalo?), but they are consistently coming up with the short end of the stick.

I thought Atlanta wasn't going to be as good as they were last year. They seem to be about the same. And, wishful thinking on my part, I thought Tampa would be a little better. Who knows, though? That rookie QB of theirs, Josh Freeman, looked like an absolute beast last week against Green Bay.

The real surprise, of course, is New Orleans. I still don't think you can outscore your way to a Super Bowl, but we shall see.



NFC North

MY PREDICTIONS

1. Chicago Bears
2. Minnesota Vikings
3. Green Bay Packers
4. Detroit Lions


REALITY

1. Minnesota Vikings (7-1)
2. Chicago Bears (4-4)
3. Green Bay Packers (4-4)
4. Detroit Lions (1-7)

All right, I was gonna make some excuses for the Bears, saying something like, "It must be harder to integrate a new quarterback into your team than I thought." But I guess Brett Favre proves that one false.

Of course, Jay Cutler ain't no Favre and Matt Forte certainly ain't Adrian Peterson. Mrs. Unknown would be really pissed if I say anything nice about Favre. Seriously, I haven't seen her hate an athlete this virulently since the time she found out that steroid-popping Mark McGwire also had special contacts made to see the ball better. I will say this about the Vikes, though: that recent loss to the Steelers proved that they aren't quite ready for prime time.

Aside from that, the Bears are a lot weaker than I'd originally imagined and the Packers much stronger. The Lions looked damned good against the Redskins last month, but that was just a big ole Battle of the Suck. I'd like to see where they go in a couple of years.



NFL West

MY PREDICTIONS

1. Seattle Seahawks
2. San Francisco 49ers
3. Arizona Cardinals
4. St. Louis Rams

REALITY

1. Arizona Cardinals (5-3)
2. San Francisco 49ers (3-5)
3. Seattle Seahawks (3-5)
4. St. Louis Rams (1-7)

Face it, this is a crap division. What was I supposed to say? I think Arizona's #1 by default. Seattle is once again plagued by injuries. St. Louis is, well, now we know what happened to the World Class Wrecking Crew.




But I said it before, San Fran is where my heart is this season. They've still got QB issues, but Mike Singletary's got these guys on the right page. Sure, they're 3-5, but they started out 3-1; and they're dead even on Points Against and Points For. They're tough and are only gonna get tougher.



AFC East

MY PREDICTIONS

1. New England Patriots
2. Miami Dolphins
3. Buffalo Bills
4. New York Jets


REALITY

1. New England Patriots (6-2)
2. New York Jets (4-4)
3. Miami Dolphins (3-5)
4. Buffalo Bills (3-5)


OK, I have hated the New England Patriots since Sunday, January 27, 2002. Yeah, that's when the Pats rolled into Heinz Field, bleary-eyed from watching all that videotape, and totally dominated the Steelers on their way to their first Super Bowl victory. Look yall, I'm tired of the hate. I need to move on. I've got a kid now. But the rest of the NFL keeps falling for their Jedi mind tricks, falling for the okey-doke every week, never realizing that they don't have a real running back and their D actually kinda sucks, and let's the Pats come away with yet another victory. I'd actually be impressed--if my hate wasn't so great.

I'd originally predicted the Jets to be in last place (for which I got some crap). But I'm impressed with how Matt Sanchez can put down the hot dogs long enough to eke out a victory here and there.

The big disappointment here has got to be Buffalo (Miami has a pretty good injury excuse). I mean, how the hell can you have two of the most dangerous wide receiver threats in T.O. and Lee Evans and still throw mostly to your running backs and tight ends?! It just boggles the mind. But I guess that's why QB Evans is called "Check-Down Trent."



AFC South

MY PREDICTIONS

1. Tennessee Titans
2. Indianapolis Colts
3. Houston Texans
4. Jacksonville Jaguars

REALITY

1. Indianapolis Colts (8-0)
2. Houston Texans (5-4)
3. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-4)
4. Tennessee Titans (2-6)

I know some look at Peyton and Eli Manning and argue that they are poster boys for why cousins should never be allowed to marry. Aesthetically, I think they may have a point there. But athletically ... you gotta admit, the Mannings were onto something, doubling up their athletic abilities so that their progeny could be as dominant as they now are.

Like the Patriots and Tom Brady, Peyton and the Colts know how to win. I don't think the Colts are 8-0 material. But we're going to see just how good they are. In the past two weeks, they have lost starting linebacker, Tyjuan Hagler, S Bob Sanders, and CB Marlin Jackson. Indy was fairly vulnerable to the run before. You gotta think folks are just going "three yards and a cloud of dust" on them the rest of the year--if only to keep the ball out of Manning's hands.

The biggest disappointment this year has got to be Tennessee. I often say that water seeks its own level, and, when it comes to Kerry Collins, apparently so does urine. Because his performance this year has been the definition of piss-poor. After leading the Titans to an 0-6 start and that 13-3 season last year a distant memory, Fisher finally benched Collins for Vince Young, who has been living up to all that Heisman hype these past two games. It'll be interesting to see just how far they can turn it around. And let's hope Houston finally makes the playoffs.



AFC North

MY PREDICTIONS

1. Pittsburgh Steelers
2. Baltimore Ravens
3. Cincinnati Bengals
4. Cleveland Browns

REALITY

1. Cincinnati Bengals (6-2)
2. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2)
3. Baltimore Ravens (4-4)
4. Cleveland Browns (1-7)

Oh, like you saw Cincy's starting the season 6-2. I've always been a Marv Lewis fan. So, I'm sorta glad he's righted the ship so far. Let's see how long it lasts (if I sound snarky, don't forget I am a Pittsburgh native). I would be worried except the Steelers are on to that Jedi mind trick shit, too, and own the AFC North.

The Ravens are a little disappointing. The D is getting kind of old, and Ed Reed simply can't be everywhere--though it sure does seem like he is. I wonder if this year will finally convince B'more that they actually need a wide receiver who's not paying AARP dues if they're ever going to get anywhere. Well, I'm a Steeler fan, so I certainly hope not.

The Browns ... hm ... well ...

Here! Maybe these Jim Brown highlights will cheer ya up!!!





AFC West

MY PREDICTIONS

1. San Diego Chargers
2. Oakland Raiders
3. Denver Broncos
4. Kansas City Chiefs

REALITY

1. Denver Broncos (6-2)
2. San Diego Chargers (5-3)
3. Oakland Raiders (2-6)
4. Kansas City Chiefs (1-7)

When it comes to pretenders to the throne, the Steelers are singing "Don't Believe the Hype" so often that Chuck D. and the Bomb Squad must be rolling in the royalties. (Yeah, I went a long way for that one). Denver was the latest victim. I can't believe, with Kyle Orton, that Denver's doing as well as they are. But after Monday's game, defenses are going to believe, with Kyle Orton, Denver can't throw the ball down field. I imagine the Orange Crush is about to lose its fizz.

The only problem for San Diego is that LT has gone totally swish and can't be in the least bit depended on. In some ways, I wish they'd shed the Norv Turner Curse and finally win one. But it's so much fun making fun of Norv Turner, it wouldn't seem right for them to win.



THE PLAYOFFS

My initial BS playoff teams were the G-Men, Minnesota, Seattle, Carolina, Philadelphia, and Chicago for the NFC, and New England, Indy, San Diego, Baltimore, Pittsburgh, and Tennessee for the AFC.


Well, obviously, Tennessee ain't gonna make it, but the others still have a shot. I also had Pittsburgh and Philly meeting in the Super Bowl. I have a sneaking suspicion it's going to be the Giants, but we shall see ...


We ... shall ... see ...

Read more...

Health Care Quote of the Day

"We won because [the Democrats] need us. If they are going to summarily dismiss us by taking the pen to that language, there will be hell to pay. I don't say it as a threat, but if they double-cross us, there will be 40 people who won't vote with them the next time they need us -- and that could be the final version of this bill."

-- Rep. Bart Stupak, D[?]-Michigan



Yeah, the Congressman is happier than a pig in shit getting his anti-choice amendment passed and attached to the House's health care bill. And now he's feeling his oats, daring the President and Senate to take the amendment out of the final legislation.

Of course, as the Washington Monthly has pointed out, Stupak only brought 10 votes and not 40 and probably doesn't have the swagger to pull off his threat. Hopefully, they're right and someone finds the chutzpah to hit the Delete button on the Stupak Amendment before it's too late.
Read more...

Happy Veterans' Day, Fam

Richard Frazier (Grandfather, Army -- WWII -- Pacific Campaign)

Richard C. Frazier (Uncle, Marines)

Robert Frazier (Uncle, Marines -- Vietnam)

Raymond Frazier (Uncle, Marines)

Garfield Campbell (Uncle, Army)

Eloise Frazier (Aunt, Navy, Army Reserves, Air Force Reserves)

Duane Campbell (Cousin, Navy)

Adam Campbell (Half-Brother, Army -- Iraq)



Thanks, yall! And thanks to all the non-fam, too!
Read more...

Just Say "No," Washington ... PLEASE!!!

Like that festering forehead herpe that just will not go away, GMAC is up on Capitol Hill begging for more of our tax dollars to bail their venereal asses out yet again.

No, that $12.5 billion we've already given them apparently was not enough. Of course, how could it have been? GMAC is the only financial institution that has the dubious distinction of failing Geithner's bullshit pass/pass "stress test." The private sector will not touch their toxic asses and give them the capital needed to stay afloat. Yet, they expect--probably in private quarters, demand--that we give them more money to keep them going--so they can ask for more money--so we can bail them out again--so they can ask for more money--so we can ...

Any family who has ever had to deal with an addict knows this cycle well. And no, the folks at GMAC, on all of Wall Street, for that matter, are not the paragons of society they proclaim to be. They're not the "Masters of the Universe," or the savvy businessmen that have "made America great." No, they are addicts. They are crackheads!

Think about it.





These Great American Business Leaders have taken the American family's trust, the same family that gave them all the advantages in the world, who has raised them since they were mere pups, fed them and clothed them, educated and loved them. We believed in them and sent them out in the world to carve their own paths. We seldom regulated their behavior, which was, perhaps, our fault, thinking them responsible adults. We just knew they would do the right thing. We raised them right, after all. They knew that their prosperity was supposed to be our prosperity, too.

So, we forgave them their transgressions and their excesses. We turned a blind eye to much of what they were doing. Only to find that they were getting high off our hog the whole time, robbing us blind while we had our back turned. And now we've lost our homes and our jobs and they've cleaned out our bank accounts.

What we have found out is that these "financiers" are nothing but the greatest junkies America has ever seen--bring the entire American family--and a bunch of our European cousins--down with their addiction to quick riches and their total, criminal disregard for personal responsibility. For they know that Uncle will bail them out if they ever get in over their heads. And he won't even give them a hassle over it--blithely giving them a brand new Hummer when they've gone and fucked up the Porsche.





It's Uncle's fault, of course. They whined and pouted for more responsibility so in 1980, he deregulated their savings and loans. Not seeing the good time they were having, he even decided to no longer restrict their investment opportunities in '82. Cocaine was king, and they lost their minds. And Uncle bailed had to bail them out in '87. That was when they knew they had him. They knew they could get high as a kite, "borrow" all the money they wanted, and never have to pay it back.

Even with Uncle's "War on Drugs," he decided to take it easy on these crackheads. The "gangbangers" got the list of drug offenses expanded, mandatory minimum sentences, and Three Strikes legislation. But for his fam, Uncle repealed the Glass-Steagall Act and said, "Do whatever you want with the money! We love you, son!!!" And when Auntie Brooksley Born tried to regulate their drug use and their "over-the-counter derivatives," Uncle brought down the hammer of God and fired her ass.

And look where all this indulgence has gotten us? Totally, utterly, and royally screwed. And these crackhead capitalists know it. But just like Samuel L. in Jungle Fever, they know that if they just did their little "Happy Dance," Uncle will dutifuly play Ruby D. and pony up the cash--even though the cupboards are dry and she's borrowing milk and sugar from her Chinese neighbor.

But these crackheads ain't your momma's crackheads. Those crackheads had humility. They'd beg you for money. They'd get out their squeegees and clean (well, dirty, really) your windows and earn the chump change you gave them to feed their habits.

No. They ain't Sammy L. in Jungle Fever. They ain't even Halle Berry or that ashy-skinned, crusty-lipped dope fiend in Menace II Society begging to fellate you so they could get their eyes. No. Those crackheads understood the value of a dollar, knew how hard you had to work to get that dollar, and were willing to get their knees dirty and put the work in to get that dollar from you.





No. These fools ain't got a humble bone in their bodies. They are not the down-on-their-luck, end-of-the-road dope fiend we knew in the '90s. These fools are Superfly, Ron O'Neal pimp-shit crackheads. They're all decked out in their gold-plated platform shoes, mink coats, and fur-lined fedoras. They ain't begging for that dollar. They're smashing bottles over Uncle's head, screaming, "Where my money at, bitch?!"

They ain't offering to suck nobody's dick. And you don't want them to, either, cause that $100,000 gold-and-diamond-encrusted grill they're sporting is razor-sharp, ready to turn you castrato singing their tune:

"Ay, Papi, please don't go
Don't you know we love you so
Ay, Papi!"





Just listen to the way Geithner, Congress, and Obama talk about these fools. Balls are missin', people!

Balls ... are ... missin'!

But it's not too late, yall. Congress, find your inner Warren G. and regulate. Tell GMAC, "Hell to the No!" If you have to, go all O-Dog on 'em (minus the blatant psychosis and homophobia, of course)--or better yet, give them some of that Ossie Davis, "wrath of God" tough love shit. While they're busy doing that Happy Dance before your eyes, pull out your whistle and put in some work. Lord knows, letting GMAC go down and a couple of bullets--named Glass and Steagall--in their asses should have thse fools in AA (Assholes Anonymous) in no time flat.











Read more...

Déjà Vu All Over Again

Last night, I took the opportunity to support a co-worker (I won't tell you which one because then you can break my blogger "code") and dove headlong into DC's underground hip-hop scene. I don't know how far talent gets you in this world, but Redhead (who loses points for calling me "sir" after the show--or should he gain points? hm...), Mathpanda, the Read a Book brutha (who is actually quite brilliant), and Arda Mus and Metaphysical have a bunch of it. But before the show, something really disturbed me.

Here, this is how I explained it to Mrs. Unknown when I got back:

"I know people have been griping that hip-hop is dead and that it's stagnant and nothing new and/or worthwhile is going on. I've been defending them and all, chalking it up to aging and sour grapes. But ... well ... I don't know ...

"I mean, I remember back in '94, when I used to go to joints like this back in Atlanta [Author's Note: Yes, Willow weep for me, I used to run the streets fifteen friggin' years ago. Argh]. We used to hear all the hottest shit of the day, Wu-Tang, Black Moon, Gang Starr, Nas..."

"Can I guess what you're going to say?" Mrs. Unknown asked.

"Sure, babe."

"That's what you were listening to tonight?"

"Exactly."







Read more...

Your Uterus Is Not a Public Option

The latest battleground in America's never-ending War of the Womb is now being fought over the public option provision in Congress's supposed health-care reform bill. As the Democrats' epic struggle to this legislation passed has now overtaken the Soviet Union's 1986 Five-Year Plan for 6th place in All-Time Examples of Political Ineptitude List, Democratic Congressman Bart Stupak has added an amendment to the bill that "would prevent federal subsidies from going to any insurance plans that cover abortion." According to The Hill, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops are head-over-heels over the amendment and the Republicans are even supporting it.

Some had thought the GOP would torpedo the amendment to make the final bill unacceptable to pro-life Democrats in the hopes that they would torpedo it. Last month, Stupak threatened to kill the bill himself if he didn't get to add his stand-alone amendment.

Douglas Johnson, the legislative director of the National Right to Life Committee, has seriously amped up the rhetoric, telling Lifenews.com:

"This will be one of the most important roll call votes that U.S. House members ever casts on a pro-life issue. Any lawmaker who votes against the Stupak-Pitts Amendment is, in effect, voting in favor of establishing a federal government program that will directly fund abortion on demand, with federal funds."

And how are Planned Parenthood and NARAL fighting back against this last-minute chicanery? Well, they're not, really.

Instead, Planned Parenthood has gone all passive-aggressive and are currently holding a campaign for donations in Bart Stupak's name. So, you can donate here in the Bartster's name and ask PP to send a thank-you card to the man.

Yeah. That'll show 'em. I guess if Stupak and Crew decided to outlaw abortion throughout the country, NARAL would send them a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates!

Now, Stupak actually is a pro-life Democrat, so his motives aren't as duplicitous and/or morally bankrupt and driven by personal and campaign contributions like his fellow anti-public option Dems, Mike Ross and Max Baucus. But it is interesting to see that AFLAC, Blue Cross Blue Shield, and Humana are among his top campaign contributors and that health professionals gave this Blue Dog $103,688 during the last campaign cycle.

No never mind. It doesn't really matter whether Stupak's amendment is due to a principled attempt to provide federally-funded abortions or a capitalized attempt to kill health care legislation for his powerful donors. What does matter is that, once again, the Dems have proven that, even when given overwhelming majorities with which to govern, we can count on them to accept defeat at the drop of a hat, to sabotage their own efforts, and to never govern using Democratic principles.

Read more...

The Song I Can't Get out of My Head This Morning

Read more...

Way to Go, Buccos!!!

I've just finished watching the thirtieth World Series in which you have not appeared. And I just thought yinz--as an organization--as the Pittsburgh Pirates of Willie Stargell, Big and Lil' Poison, Roberto Clemente, and Honus Wagner fame--deserved a big, fat round of applause!!!








I mean, thirty friggin' years of futility! You have got to deliberately go out of your way to pull that off. I mean, you couldn't have accidentally slipped and fell into the World Series.

Think about it! Thirty years!

The last time the Pittsburgh Pirates--the Pittsburgh Pirates of Willie Stargell, Big and Lil' Poison, Roberto Clemente, and Honus Wagner fame--went to and won the World Series, a group of doe-eyed, scruffy-faced college students rushed into the American embassy and took a whole bunch of Americans hostages--bringing a superpower to its knees and causing an American president to lose an election. Did you know one of those students is now the president of his country?

Yeah ... this guy.








Seriously, take a look at him. Sure, he's still scruffy-faced (and, well, a bit cross-eyed), but he sure as hell ain't no student no more. Those youthful days are far behind this guy.


And these guys, too.







Those are the 1979 Pirates today!!!


And as old and fat as these guys are, I still bet they'd beat the 2009 Pirates in a best-of-seven series!!!


Did you know the Soviets ...






No, no, no ... not the Soviettes. The Soviets invaded Afghanistan in 1979--forever showing empires that they should never invade that place. Thank God we all learned that lesson.

Well, I just learned that Flo was the #6 show of 1979!





Do you think that's where Flo Rida got his name?






Well, you think on that awhile. Meanwhile, why don't you listen to the #53 song of 1979--the song that the 1979 Pirates took as their theme song?







Do you know who else had hit songs in 1979?

Cheap Trick, Peaches and Herb, Village People, Electric friggin' Light Orchestra, Leif Garrett!!!, Gino Vannelli, and Randy VanWarmer!!!

When was the last time you heard anything from these people?

Oh yeah ... I guess the last time I heard anything from you ....


1979!!!!!!!!!!!!!



And who the fuck was Randy VanWarmer?!!!






Oh ... wow ... geez ...


Well then ... what the fuck were yinz takin' back in '79?!!!


Oh yeah ... World Series rings.


But not since. Nope. Not you, Buccos!


Oh sure, you flirted with the idea back in '90, '91, and '92--before this douchebag decided to sue his wife for alimony and take steroids!!!






Seriously, Barry, couldn't you have taken the syringe, bulked up, unclenched your sphincter and de-choke-ified your larynx and given us at least one World Series before you left Pittsburgh?



But no. You choked and left, forever dashing our hopes. After 1979, we had to suffer the abysmal Johnny Ray '80s. We had a little hope with Bonds, Bonilla, and Van Sylke in the late '80s/early '90s. But since 1992, we Pirates fans have not only not seen the World Series nor even the playoffs, we haven't even seen a fucking winning season, you FUCOPs!!!

That's 17 years!!!

1992!!!

Bill Clinton had just been George H.W. Bush for the White House! Ross Perot and "fuzzy math" were all the rage! People actually thought Dana Carvey was funny!!!

Black folks wore X hats! White folks kept talking about The Crying Game! Boyz II Men had the #1 song of the year with "End of the Road" (cough, gag, vomit all over the keyboard, wipe off, finish up rant)!!!!

Hell, this time seventeen years ago, in 1992, Barry Bonds was about to leave the Pirates forever and Dr. Dre was about to drop The Chronic.











Pittsburgh baseball and hip-hop have never been the same since.

Read more...

Poor Deeds -- The Creigh Don't Rise

Poor Creigh Deeds,

I know you've done all you could to win Virginia's governorship. You pulled off the surprise primary victory against Brian Moran and that corksucker Terry McAuliffe. You've rubbed elbows with the ultimate Virginia King Maker, Poohbutt. You've tried to ride Obama's coat tails while he was popular--tried cutting them off when his poll numbers dropped--and then begged to mend those britches since your own poll numbers remained down. You've apparently even hucked it up twice with yours truly (or so I've been told--I really and truly don't remember--talk about self-importance!).

The biggest gift would seem to be the fact that your Republican opponent, Bob McDonnell, is a Pat Robertson rightwing nutjob who once hated (hates?) working women, homosexuals, and "fornicators" and wants to convert the Taliban to Christ--not to mend the errors of their ways but to improve their efficiency (OK, I made that one up).

Unfortunately for Deeds, Democrats, and all us political junkies, Virginia always votes against the White House. If there's a Republican in the White House, there'll be a Democrat in Richmond and vice versa. It's been that way since WWII, or some craziness like that. There ain't nothin' you can do about it, Creigh.

The same goes for Gov. Corzine over in Jersey. Apparently, Virginians and New Jersey--ites?, oddly enough, have been voting in tandem since 1989 and have voted against the White House each time.

You're just a victim of history, Creigh. There was nothing you could do. Unfortunately for the rest of us, we're going to be victims of the punditocracy. They're going to conveniently forget the history behind these off-year elections and fill our mediated existences with "What does this mean for Obama?"

It don't mean shit. It's just history playing itself out. Of course, it won't stop the soap opera, duh-duh-DAHH!!! weepy-eyed, slavering-jawed reporting talking about the "referendum on Obama," how "Obama is really struggling with his message," and "Obama's agenda is really in trouble." At least the melodrama will be a nice prelude for when the Dems lose a bunch of House and Senate seats next year in the mid-terms--as the party in power always does in the midterms (the noted exception being the Bush Babee in '03).

Ya know, in a way, I feel sorrier for the rest of us than I do Creigh Deeds. I mean, yeah, it's gonna be a blow to the ego to lose a governor's race--especially to a guy who beat you by, like, one vote for the Lieutenant Governor seat a few years back. But at least Deeds is a victim of history. Whether the pundits remember that or not, they'll either blame historical trends or an "anti-Obama wave." They'll never blame Deeds himself. He'll ultimately be able to deflect blame for his failure. But the rest of us are gonna have to listen to the bullshit for years to come--until The Big Brother is re-elected in '12.

Read more...